Don’t Be a Bridezilla 101- Bridesmaids Volunteer vs Volun”told”

When it comes to weddings, it should be a joyous and enjoyable day for you and your guests isn’t it? Yup usually that’s the case. You’re all smiles, your bridal party is happy, your guests are happy; a happy ending to your wedding.

Yet, I’ve heard SO MANY cases of weddings turn ugly because of one thing: The Bridezilla.

source: lynnbrownphotography

If you are unaware of this term, here are the definitions provided by


1) noun. Formed from blending of the words bride and Godzilla (Japanese movie monster). Used to describe a woman whose behavior becomes outrageously bad in the course of planning for her wedding.


2) A woman who has become so possessed and obsessed with her wedding plans that she has merged into a hybrid events/catering/ambience driven monster. Stopping at nothing to create ‘her perfect day’.

Well, you get the idea don’t you. The bridezilla is a very undesirable phenonmenon we want to avoid at any weddings. Hence I decided to come up with a series called “Don’t Be a Bridezilla“.
Sometimes you become blinded to how you behave to the people around you when you become stressed or emotionally high strung. Hopefully this series will help keep you in check, so that you and the people you love will enjoy the whole wedding process!


So in this first part of the series, I’ll be talking about the people who will be working closely with you throughout the wedding besides your husband- Your Bridesmaids.
When you’re planning the wedding, your bridesmaids are there to help you as best as they can. But, did they volunteered to help in that specific task, or were they volun”told” by you to do so? The last thing you want is them feeling like they are obliged to be your bridesmaid and are forced to help you with your wedding.


The Knot had written an excellent article on the difference between bridesmaids volunteering and being volun”told” (in fact, they coined the term too!). According to them, “volunteering” means that someone freely offers their time or skills for a project; while “voluntold” roughly means  that they are being told they must do a duty they didn’t offer, or somehow it is expected that they should take up this duty, even if they haven’t offered or been asked to do it.

Click Here to read the full article on their blog!

End of the day, we don’t want to ruin friendships because of the wedding, especially on your wedding day. Always remember that your bridesmaids are your friends, not your dutiful servants. They have a life outside of your wedding and you have to respect their time too.
One thing you have to remember is, things may not always turn out the way you want it, it will not be “perfect”. Your bridesmaid may not had gotten the best dresses to match your gown. They may not be able to get their make up and hair done professionally. They may not had gotten the exact wedding favours you wanted but found the next best alternative etc.
But just because it’s not entirely what you dream of your ideal wedding, it does not mean the wedding is going to suck. Learn to compromise and make the best of what you have! When you are not micro-managing the minute details, you’ll realise you become less stressed and planning the wedding becomes more enjoyable for you and your bridesmaids!



Steph Leong considers herself a lifestyle chameleon, with a passion for fashion. Steph is also passionate about street dance; specializing in Waacking. A dancer by night, Steph does freelance writing and graphic design by day.

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