Every wedding begins looking like it’s a rosy picture, but every couple who has gone through the wedding will tell you that a marriage is easy to start… but hard to maintain.
Will you really stay together for better or for worse?
Every relationship goes through their fair share of difficult times, but we also know that those who pull through these trying periods emerge stronger while others might be torn apart. Here are 5 key milestones you need to consider and prepare yourself for in your marriage:
1) Having A Baby
Having your first baby is not just going to tax you financially, but mentally, emotionally and socially as well. Many couples fall into the trap of putting all their priority on their first-born that they forget their roles as a partner as well.
Instead of keeping all the stress and discontentment within, make time for each other and most importantly, communicate.
It’s important to talk about the changes each of you are facing and have a sense of partnership as you nurture your first born.
2) Fertility Issues
On the flip side, infertility (or not wanting a baby) can become a real strain between a couple and even a reason for divorce. It can become a blame-game and that’s not going to be the smartest way around the problem.
If infertility is a concern, it’s important for couples to explore all options rather than stay aligned in your goal. If either party isn’t ready, there has to be a point where both partners align in terms of timeline.
Remember, people do change and while they may not want it now, doesn’t mean they do not want to conceive forever.
3) Retrenchment Or Other Financial Stress
With marriage comes shared financial responsibility. As we already know, getting married in Singapore is not a cheap affair, and that’s just the beginning. You’ll have to grapple with a mortgage loan after that, child-rearing and other financial commitments.
In the unfortunate event where one of you is retrenched, you might find that both partners are plunged into a stressful situation, especially if there are no emergency funds to start with. One might be tempted to start pointing fingers if your partner loses his job or makes a bad investment with your joint account.
As a couple, it’s important to plan your finances together even if each of you wants some autonomy. If debt becomes a real problem, do not wait till it’s too late to seek financial help.
4) A Serious Illness
When a serious illness strikes either partner, it will be a real show to see if your spouse really stands by you in times of need. Be it a car accident or an unfortunate incident that requires long-term hospitalisation, this will be a testament to whether you and your spouse will hold on to each other through thick and thin.
It’s hard to admit but when betrayal happens, the responsibility usually falls on both sides. Cheating usually represents discontent in the relationship. There is of course a need for the “hurt” party to get over the initial anger before mediation can happen.
If through it all both sides want to see the relationship through, it will make the relationship a much stronger one.