Marriage is a union of two people, so it is only natural that the responsibility of planning the whole wedding falls on both parties’ shoulders.
But how many times have we heard wedding-horror stories where it was all one-sided planning by the bride, while the groom was just clueless and makes last minute decisions that will potentially sabotage one of the biggest days of their lives. E.g. misplacing the rings right before the ceremony; last minute guest update, forgetting to plan the honeymoon etc.
So, here is a comprehensive list of groom duties for the wedding. Don’t worry; the list is not as long as it sounds.
And it only serves as a guide to help you understand what needs to be planned and done at your side. So relax, and read on.
1) Buying the Rings
BOTH wedding bands and engagement ring. And remember to pass the wedding bands to your responsible and reliable Best Man on the wedding day before the ceremony.
2) Prepare a list of guests you want at your wedding
Image source: Bittersweet Photography
Present the list to Her Highness aka your bride at least 3 months before the wedding.
So she can’t fault you for being “last minute” and if there are any revisions you’ll have time to make arrangements.
If you end up with too many guests and both of you cannot decide who to invite, refer to the inforgraphic below to help guide your decision!
3) Choosing and coaching your Best Man and Groomsmen
Image source: weddingpaparazzi
Your entourage will be your best support for the day, and of course they will also be your responsibility.
If you have a buddy who tends to go overboard with things, remind him to keep it low just for 1 day.
The last thing you want to do is to embarrass your bride on the most important day of your lives in front of all your guests.
4) Choose the wedding attire for yourself and your entourage
Choose to go formal, or themed…
Image sources: Anton Chia / Hardwarezone
The bride is stressed enough picking out her own perfect dress and bridesmaid outfit to match.
So take the responsibility to pick out your formal wear and your groomsmen outfits. If she wants things co-ordinated, let her decide on the theme or color only.
You don’t want your grooms men to be forced to wear something they don’t like either, right?
5) Send wedding invites
Image source: kalomakeart
While some couples have resorted to using Facebook event page to send invites out of convenience, it will seem insincere and disrespectful to your older guests.
We have already done away with Thank You notes, so the least we can do is extend our sincere invitation via a physical invite to our guests.
You can let your bride decide on the design of the wedding invites, but volunteer to do the addressing and mailing of the invites to lighten her load.
6) Plan the Honeymoon
Image source: whirlawaytravel
It is traditionally the groom’s duty to plan the honeymoon. That includes choosing the destination(s), arranging accommodations, transportations, coming up with a rough itinerary.
My advice is, rather than zooming in on specific destinations, think about attributes you both want on your honeymoon.
Once you have these down, check and see what destination fits your ideal honeymoon.
Travelmuse is a website that helps you find the perfect destination for your honeymoon. Simply select the themes and activities you want and it will generate all the relevant destinations.
The world is huge so surprise yourselves!
7) Arrange Wedding Day Transportation
Image source: Butterandjam
One point to note, your bride will not want to wrinkle her dress, so consider getting a car with lots of space (E.g. SUVs).
A Ferrari will be very impressive but if she’s wearing a giant poofy tulle gown, you’ll probably not fit nicely in the car together.
8) Write your speech
Don’t leave your speech to the last minute! This is probably one of the most important speeches you’ll ever have to make in your life so make it count.
If you need some tips on how to write your speech, the guys at The Plunge have provided 10 rules to writing a Groom’s speech, along with templates you can work around with.
To quote them, “As the groom, it’s absolutely critical that your speech convey two qualities: humor and heart. Forget the humor and you’re a pansy; forget the heart and you’re a d**k.”
9) Collect your marriage certificate and appoint your solemniser
Image source: Willie&Weiling wedding
If you are holding your solemnization at ROM then there is no need to collect your marriage documents. But in the event you are holding your solemnization outside of ROM, PLEASE remember to file your marriage online and collect your marriage documents prior to your wedding ceremony.
Don’t forget to appoint your solemniser and discuss options and requirements to ensure a smooth ceremony.
Some solemnisers prefer to interview the couples before the ceremony too so do factor that in.
For more info about registering your marriage, check out the ROM page HERE.
10) Be pro-active and assist with any decision-making and planning
Now that you have your main responsibilities down, be pro-active and don’t hesitate to help your bride arrange the wedding ceremony and reception.
By now you should know your bride’s preferences so if a vendor rings up and she’s too busy to attend to them, step up and help with the decision-making.
Afterall, it is YOUR wedding too so be decisive about your preferences as well.
That’s it! Told ya it’s a short list. So guys don’t need to sweat the small details.
Leave the details to your bride. As long as you fulfil the first 9 on the list and help out in #10, you’re good!
For more wedding tips for grooms, check out these website that I’ve referenced from too: